I wish that I could say that being a mother is a wonderful thing every single day and every single moment. But it isn't. I used to be a morning person. I woke up and had breakfast and I was happy to be awake. I was happy to get up and start the day. Lately, I dread mornings.
Hannah is not an easy morning person. She screams and she cries and she hates every outfit that I put out for her. She wants to wear her pajamas to school. She wants milk, no she wants juice. She doesn't want to potty even though I remind her that everyone needs to use the bathroom every morning. Sometimes I want to run away.
Angelique is not an easy morning person. Thankfully, as she has grown older she can dress herself and she can get herself ready, but she is moody. She is grumpy and when she is not grumpy she is slow. Just to put on a pair of jeans can take forever and forget me depending on her to fix her own lunch or have some breakfast.
Kenneth spends so much time shaving and getting dressed while I run around fixing lunch for Angelique and us and feeding Eddie. I would love to have things be ready for me every morning and just have to focus on dressing myself.
So yes, this morning I said that Eddie was my favorite and yes, today I couldn't help thinking that I hated having children. I don't hate my girls. I love my children, but I don't love the thankless job of being a mother. Yes, I love the hugs and the kisses and declarations of love... they just don't make up my morning. This is my morning vent.
What I hope for later today... that Hannah will be smiling and happy when we pick her up. That she will be painting a picture and she will tell me about how she played with her friends Cara and Zenobia. I hope that Angelique skips up to me with a big smile excited about what she learned today. That always helps. It erases all the negative junk from the morning and gives me hope that tomorrow morning and the mornings after will be better and eventually maybe my girls will be morning people as well. Onward and upward....
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